God provides

I recognized the name immediately as the note came across my desk, and I quickly asked my coworker if this particular client was still on the phone, waiting for someone to pick up, and she said yes so I gladly jumped on the line to see if everything was ok. I know that a lot of the time when I write about what I do, readers are quick to assume that the clients that I have the honor to serve fit a certain mold. It's a preservation thing and I get it. No one wants to think that they could ever become homeless, or disabled, or unemployed. Sometimes putting people in a labeled box where you can put the lid on top of them keeps their reality separate from our own. Unfortunately, for the elementary school teacher, or the grocery store manager, or the cashier that deposits your paycheck every payday at your local bank, it is easy to see that the borders of the box aren't quite as concrete as one might think. All it takes is one catastrophic blow before the  financial  stability of a household is spiraling out of control. Sometimes a resolution is hard to find. Thankfully, God's bounds know no limits and when He allows me a small glimpse into what He's up to, it's a great day.

Back to the story. I make it a habit to pray over the lives of those I come into contact with. Whether they ask me to, allow me to, or I do after they leave, I always lift them up to the One who knows what the true answer for their predicament may be. Maybe they call because they need rent. Maybe it's a Conway Corp bill. Whatever they present with to me is lifted to the One who knows the true need, and is so good to save. Before I lifted up the phone to take the call, my God was already on the move. I listened intently as the voice on the other line told me how he continued to struggle medically, but confess his trust in Jesus as the picture he painted seemed grim. Suddenly there was a knock on the door and for a split second, I remembered what it once felt like to wonder if the landlord might be coming over with an ultimatum because finances were tough and money had fallen short. Alas, there was a sweet voice coming through the man's phone as I heard him emphatically thank whomever it was for dropping off some second hand clothes that his daughters could have for new school clothes. I reveled in the sound of his voice as you could tell he was holding back tears while graciously thanking the kind donor who had met a need. This story was just getting good.

Our conversation led to a few resources that I gave him that I felt like would be able to help in this financial plight that we were facing, and at the end of it, I reminded him to keep me posted so that we could fill the gap for whatever remaining needs were unmet. There was hope, but even bigger than anything we could give. I received a call this afternoon  from another organization that was going to pay for his entire rent! In the world of charitable agencies, this is huge! But it doesn't end there!

At the other agency, a man walked in. He struck up a conversation with one of the workers about how he himself had once been homeless. He knew what it meant to struggle, and his heart had led him to the place where my client now sat in the back room after receiving the news about his rental assistance. As the once-formerly homeless man described what he was being led to do for someone else, the worker knew exactly who she could refer for the gift, and he was still on the property after receiving rental assistance! It was the man struggling with a debilitating disease that left him unable to work, yet still offering praises to an Almighty God for providing clothing for his daughter, a paid way for whatever sports his kids wanted to play, courtesy of a once-homeless stranger, a place to sleep for atleast another month, and a case manager who is determined to keep the lights on and the air cool so that those kids can see the homework that they will be starting on soon.

You might be surprised to hear me say that the lesson I learned today isn't necessarily how God is so good at providing for people, because I already know this. He always has the final say so, and whether or not my friend received millions of dollars in assistance today or not, I would still confidentally say that. I would rather trust God while crawling through the desert versus relying on my own understanding any day, because his answer is always going to be the best. All of this is a given with me.

Rather, I thank God for the people that simply responded "yes" today. That were willing to take what little they had and watch it multiply when placed in the hands of the One who fed over 5,000 people with 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread. Not only did he do it back then, he does it now. From the donation of clothes, to the formerly-homeless man who felt nudged to help out someone else out, to all who will continue to strive to meet the needs of this family: God uses those who are willing to say "yes" to him everyday.

This story is not my story. It is the story of anyone who responds with a resounding "yes" to the call that God places on their heart that day, and it is the best place to be.

Much thanks to my friend for allowing me the pleasure of sharing this inspirational story today.

Our church

Ahhh, Vacation Bible school time again.

It's almost like a holiday, VBS is. Decorating, preparing, planning out schedules, buying gifts...And that's just in preparation for the event. Once VBS kicks off, there's a whole other level added.  Coralling three sets of age groups to each station, ensuring that everyone stays together. Making sure that every creative snack meets certain dietary needs. Comforting the youngest group who is ready to go home and go to bed thirty minutes before each night's ending, thus resulting in many a tearful eye that must be comforted. Even so, the dedicated volunteers return year after year because a church that has a flourishing children's department holds the keys to the future, and each child, whether he or she comes from a family within the church, is cherished.  Whitney Houston was right all along: "I believe the children are our future." We must teach them well, and let them lead the way. Well, sometimes. 

An outwardly faced church doesn't exist to serve only its members, but rather all who we come into contact with. I know of so many different local churches in Conway who truly serve as Jesus did, and that is in a way that sees no boundaries when it comes to showing compassion and love to strangers. Even if we don't look the same. Or dress the same. Or live in the same part of town. The church does not exist to create a wall of division between Jesus and those who we claim we are called to love, rather serve as a bridge to close the gap between the believers and those who find themselves on the fringe. Maybe they have faced judgement elsewhere. Maybe they feel like they would never be accepted because of what the paper trail of their life looks like on record. Whatever the reason, all should be welcome at this table. 

Tonight I witnessed a beautiful sight, and I hope my friend won't mind me sharing this. I am not going to tag her on here, but hopefully she will have a chance to read this and know just how much I was moved tonight by her heart. Like many of the children that we see grace our corridors during the VBS rush, there are always some that we don't know who they are. Maybe they received our flyer at a food pantry, or a doctor's office, or a friend of a friend told them about it. Whatever the reason, we embrace them at the front door. And sometimes, we realize that the safest place that they have set foot in might be our church lobby. That the only meal they might have tasted came in the form of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that one of our VBS kitchen volunteers made them when they cried because they were hungry; or received medical care for the dozens of flea bites that covered their body; or for the simple conversation that was had when they just couldn't quite understand how to play a game. These are the moments that we, the volunteers live for. 

And at the end of the night, when that one child looks up and declares what they have heard all night, how Jesus is their rescuer, too, we have done our job. 

Father, take this seed. You know these kids because they already belong to you. I ask that all of the planning, all of the memorization,  all of the crafts, all of the creative snacks that have been prepared for them pale in comparison to what you will do with each of their lives. And God, help us to love well. Help us to extend grace because of the grace that you extended. Help us to have patience for the many other sidewalk conversations that may come. I just ask that you would go before us and allow us to be used as vessels for the mighty work you are going to do in them. Amen.

A precious newborn baby

There she was, in all her glorious pregnancy. You could tell by the way that she held her stomach that she was the full embodiment of a first time mama. Like a protective mama bear, the sheer mention of her delivery made her face turn from that of a radiant glow to one with a stoic intent. This baby would be cared for, whether on the streets or elsewhere. That is the reality when a homeless situation turns into a "party plus one" event.

So here I sit, trying to count weeks in my head based off of her last period, because you know, women who survive on the streets are known to have regular menstrual cycles, right? Wrong. Stress takes its toll and what she thinks might be "normal" might not be. As I scramble around my house to find some clothes for her to wear, I scatter sticky notes all over the place. "Prenatal vitams?" on one. "Feminine hygiene products" on another. "Ultrasound!" is written on a list in my purse as I start to think about what organizations I can reach out to for help. But really and truly, I want to do a drive by. Not that kind. The kind where I drive by where her tent is and make sure I don't see her squatting in a field trying to withhold the pushes in time for someone to notice her and recognize her need to get to a hospital asap. 

Atleast she isn't alone. It takes two to tango, and knowing that she hasn't been abandoned makes me feel a little bit better. Honestly as a mother, I ask God to purge me of any judgement I have towards a husband who seems to accept this reality as the norm, remembering how thankful that I am that she is not alone. I thank God that even though this mama bear may not have the same type of blessed pregnancy that I had, His ability to work in these parents' lives is the same as it was mine. 

And while the world waits for the the arrival of the homeless baby, I will thank God in advance for how He is going to use me in all this. But moreso, for how He is going to move the hearts of man. 

Once again, through the birth of a son.

Judas's money

And so they took the money. It was literally blood money. It cost a man's life, and the saddest part of all of it was that the money came from the worst kind of betrayal that a person can imagine: from a friend's betrayal. The body that would soon hang on display for all the crowd to jeer at came at a price, and what a price it was. 

"This fulfilled the prophesy of Jeremiah that says, 'They took the thirty pieces of silver-the price at which he was valued by the people of Israel, and purchased the potter's field, as the Lord directed.'" Matthew 27:9-10.

The money of course, was originally paid to Judas Iscariot, world-renown betrayer whose cooperation with the religious leaders would lead to the execution of Yeshua, the Christ. In one final moment before Judas ended his own life, he offered the money back to the religious leaders, realizing his role in leading an innocent man to die for the sins of the world. And yet, God's involvement never leaves the situation as we read "as the Lord directed" at the end of verse 10. So the money was used to purchase a plot of land where immigrants could lay their loved ones to rest if they died while separated from their home land. 

Friends, there are times when I really struggle to understand what it is God is trying to get me to understand as I delve into his word. These few verses really lept off the page to me because to understand that God would still have something to do with a situation that is so purely evil. I just can't. As someone who understands what it is like to feel the sting of betrayal, especially from a human perspective, and knowing how anger, hopelessness, or depression can grip one's emotions during that time, looking for God in that equation can seem distant. Understanding however, that He says he is with us through everything, brings things back into perspective as he still has his finger in the universal purpose of what is going on in our lives, as well as others. 

God still had a plan for the blood money that had been used to betray his son. In stating "as the Lord directed," that tells me that further supernatural direction was still occuring. He had not turned away from the situation. He was still watching the money that had paid for the betrayal of his son get passed around, yet didn't separate himself from those who continued to pass it. He kept watch and directed. 

I think the reason I keep coming back to these thirty pieces of silver is simple: it is further evidence that God never separated himself from the evil that man had become. No matter how bad. No matter how loathsome. Or despisable. Scripture says that God sees the heart where man sees outwardly appearances. What a refreshing thought, honestly. I know that there was a time in my life where many of you would have had a hard time offering the same grace that God showed to the people that were passing around the blood money that killed his son, yet he chose to stay engaged. I thank God that instead of pulling away like we sometimes do when we look at what we might consider a lost cause, God does just the opposite: he gets involved. He takes up our cause. He redirects circumstances towards Himself where they are ultimately unified with Him.

But is that what we are called to do? It is so easy to throw out daggers that would put man in his place, the judgement seat where the world would see a lost cause not worthy of a second look. But when you have eyes that see things the way that God does, how beautiful to see what he sees and love them as such. By ourselves, we are a hot mess. But with Him, our failures, our flaws, our disapointments, our let downs become beautiful because that is what he does. He restores us. 

Beloved, God has his eyes turned to you. He sees what's going on in your life and is ready to jump in and save, as any proud parent is. He has his ears turned to you, and knows the things you are telling yourself: about how you are not fit to love, not fit for acceptance, not worth the time. He would remind you that those are all lies and that he already bought you with a price that cost a lot. He reminds you that you are not alone, and even though you feel that way at times, he is listening and ready to respond. 

Take that step of faith,and when you do, please let someone know. I will be waiting.  

"Hi mama"

The text simply said two words: "hi mama." When I opened it up on my phone, it was as if I could breath a deep sigh of relief. It was from Sawyer, who has been away at teen camp since Friday. Not that I am one of those parents who stays up all night worrying about how my child is doing when they are not in my presence or anything. Because I am not. But I could tell that Sawyer was a little nervous as the bus pulled away, this being his first time at teen camp. Excited, but nervous. His last words to me as I said my goodbyes were, "mom, I am not so sure about this." I assured him that he was going to have a blast with all of his friends, and that there was nothing to worry about.

Still, I couldn't get those puppy dog eyes out of my head as I pulled away.

Watching your child grow up is one of those things that you will never get quite used to. Sure, there may be times where you find yourself celebrating graduations, engagements, marriages, grandkids, etc, but if you are anything like I am, you will think back to the first day you brought them home. Or the first time they took their first steps. Or the first time they came home talking about falling in love. We delight in seeing our kids grow up but a part of us will always remember them as our babies.

I knew that Sawyer was having these last minute reservations because it was something that he had never done before. Instead of being the big man on campus, he was now the minnow in the sea and that is a scary place to be for the first time. Think of it as kindergarten.  I wish I could have assured him that this would be the only time that he would be nervous about venturing into an unknown place but the truth is that he was just getting started. As he grows into the man that God has created him to be, there will be lots of times where his feet would take him where his mind is unsure of, but that's the beauty of faith, isn't it?

As I ponder this getting old business, I thought about the times that God led me to the edge of uncertainty. How many times had He assured me that everything would be ok if only I would trust him. And how he has proved to me over and over that he knows what is best for my life, and continues to go with me into the unknown and bring me out on the other side refined? The times are too many to count. Each time I take that step of faith, I know that I am being carried on the wings of angels who are under the command of an Almighty Father who is already waiting on the other side. He assures the growth that comes from the step of faith that I must boldly take and is always waiting around when I get to the other side and send him a message much like I received from Sawyer: "Hi daddy."

I realize that I have many friends that are burdened by a step that God wants them to take. Friends, be bold. Don't look back. Seek God first in all things, and He will make your paths straight. You need only to trust him. What will you lose if you never take that step? Maybe nothing. But what will you gain if you do? Perhaps everything.








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