Her name is *Lisa. She is a Cabbage Patch doll with golden brown hair, bronze skin, and a scent that reminded me of my childhood. She was a gift to me a few years ago and she is more to me than a remembrance of a simpler time when styling barbie doll hair and accessorizing every stuffed animal known to man (located in my bedroom, of course) was my happy place.
When *Lisa was given to me, I wept. Not only did she remind me of my childhood, she was the namesake of a very special little girl that I had been praying for for a number of years. They shared the same name and appearance, she was a visual reminder for me to keep my prayers coming for my real *Lisa.
When you are in student ministry, particularly younger children, you take the prayer requests week after week and pour into the children that it is your mission to minister to. After so much time has gone by, you realize that while you are not the parents or grandparents, your presence in their lives and prayers over them have bound you to them in a way that is indescribable. Like teaching in a public school, the "church kids" that you invest in become a part of your hear, too. You worry about them, you celebrate the happy times, you cry when they cry, and you try to be strong when you can't give their broken hearts the answer that they want to hear.
*Lisa lived behind me. She was at my house everyday. When she was first introduced to me, she was probably eight years old and loved everything about Justin Beiber and Tobymac. This baby could sing. She would sit at my computer accessing YouTube for as long as I let her and belt out every song like she was the next Alicia Keys. She had a heart for Christ and would accompany me every time I went to the altar on Sunday mornings, crying out to God with her words just as good as the next guy.
I knew that Lisa had a tough home life. She had a good support system in her grandparents, but the situation at home was rocky to say the least. It would be good sometimes, awful others. There would be nights she would come up to the house to simply talk and pray because "Mama and daddy were fighting" or "so-and-so was drinking again." There would be nights I could hear yells coming from the house and wondered if Lisa would be coming up, scared. I would sit on my front porch praying to God for the protection of of everyone in the house, but very specifically my Lisa and her siblings.
Time went on and I saw Lisa growing into a young woman. She was an avid Bible quizzer and as her teacher, I saw that it was more than just memorizing questions and answers, but she got it. She put those words in her heart and locked it tight. I never cared about how she performed at the quiz meets because I knew, like with all of my Bible quizzers, that if these words of life were implanted in their hearts and minds, my job was done.
Then today came. I received word that my Lisa had been placed in foster care. Once upon a time, I had been a CASA, or court appointed special advocate for children in the system. I haven't had a case in over a year because of the time required to take off of work to make court appearances and do home visits, but I know a little bit about all of it. I know that there are some amazing people that run foster homes, God bless them. But I also know that anytime a child is ripped from their home, it can be life altering. Even if the child wasn't safe. Even if foster care was the best option. Even with loving and supportive foster parents. The experience changes the child.
So here I sit dumbfounded. The prayers, Lord, the prayers! She is yours! Haven't you been listening?.
"God, keep her safe. God, let her know how loved she is. God, let her grow up to know that her worth is not found in anything that she can do, but instead in what you can do through her. Let her light shine. Unite her family."
Pray, pray, pray.
There is a song that Lauren Daigle sings. It says, "When you don't move the mountains, I'm needing you to move. When you don't part the waters, I wish I could walk through. When you don't give the answers, as I cry out to you. I will trust, I will trust in you!"
Dear friends, here is a real live testimony about how life isn't always what we expected. We get let down. We cry out to God, but sometimes His answer is not what we had in mind. But sometimes we are not meant to see, and that is because we can't possibly fathom what God is at work at. Maybe we will get our answer someday, maybe not.
But trust, we must.
"Now this I know. The Lord gives victory to His anointed. He answers them from His Holy Sanctuary with the victorious power of his right hand." (Psalms 20:6)
So, we pray. For the answers that we hope for. For the things we don't understand, For the love of a child, whom is loved more from the Savior than from an adopted mama bear. (And that's a lot.)
God knows her name, even though I didn't tell you what it really was, so please pray for her.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_aVFVveJNs
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