When mundane becomes miraculous.

I am continued to be amazed at how God gets into the mundane details of our day. With Him, miraculous things happen in the mundane. Please don't get me wrong. My idea of the word "mundane" is probably not the same as yours. I have never had a boring day at work. It would not be unheard of for the spectrum of my day to start with talking someone off of a ledge (metaphorically, of course), cutting a check to a landlord and then calling the family living in a van to inform them that they can now drive to their very own home. to sorting through a pile of stinky shoes to find a pair of steel-toed boots for the fella that just landed a job working for a factory...

Nothing about my job is mundane.

However, there are some cases that are pretty cut and dry. Maybe my client doesn't have a lot to report: they lost  their job, experienced a medical emergency, or even had to pay their property taxes. Whatever the case, they have come for someone to hear their story and reach out to them with whatever she  can do to help. No two stories are alike, as God created us all with different characteristics and delights in that. He cherishes our differences and revels in our individuality.

During a case management appointment, I am given the opportunity to hear each story and respond the best way I know how. It could be a simple utility pledge, a sleeping bag and tent, a call into an employment agency... lots of options. I rely on the spirit of God--the true source of love and compassion--to give me the discernment that I need to move forward. Complete reliance on the spirit of God is key for doing what I do. And some days, He surprises me.

Today after listening to the details behind this particular  case, I was close to wrapping up when something told me to hold on for a second; that something more was there yet left unsaid. You see, I try to offer some hope before I send my clients out into the unknown. Many times, I MUST leave God to take care of the stuff that I can't. I must maintain my boundaries, but recognize that my God has no boundaries. I thanked my client for coming in and asked them if I could pray with them. It was  then that a beautiful revelation came as a tragedy came to light.

Sometimes when I send my clients out the door, I sense their worry. Will they be able to find others places like the Ministry center to help them as we have? It is a hard feeling knowing that you have given all you can yet it isn't what they may have hoped for. But sometimes, they have survived the unimaginable and end up reminding me that even if the prayers don't get answered in our time, or the tragedy is not averted, God is still walking with us. He never leaves us. And when we have come to the end of ourselves, scripture tell us that, "Those that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, shall mount up with wings of eagles, shall run and not be weary.." (Isaiah 40:31)

Tragedy had struck, yet faith remained. Strength remained. Joy eventually came, and hope was found because of the very one who represented it all, and His Name is Jesus Christ.

Thank you God, for bringing miraculous through the mundane.

Joy

Pre-Cursor: Thank you. You have listened to me describe some of the most intimate details of my calling at the Ministry center and have prayed for me, offered me encouragement, a listening ear, or even let me cry on your shoulder. God is indeed my strength, but you all have helped more than you know.

Do you have joy? 

I know that is one heck of a question to kick this party off with, but lets do it anyway. The reason I ask is because there are days that I question that in myself. Thursday and Friday are great case-in-point days for me to walk you through that might give you an inclination as to the great burden I sometimes bear versus the joy and love that I pray is displayed through my life everyday. Much of the case work that I manage is based on my perception of what could easily be described as emergent, or desperate. If I can't get this homeless patient the meds he needs, he will be found deceased in a car that he is temporarily staying in. If I can't find this single mom a place to stay with her kids by the time the hotel forces her to leave, they will have to sleep the streets until some other option opens up. If I can't find transportation for the addict to get to the rehab before they change their mind and decide that the physical pain of withdrawal is more than they can handle, I have lost again. 

Now, now, now. I must move on it now. 

A very dear friend reminded me that it is easy to get caught up in trying to figure out the solution to the problem before giving God the time to make His move. Sometimes that sense of urgency that sits on my chest can somehow hinder my own ability to rely on God and His timing, not my own. And [God] forbid if the pressure that I feel in a moment of dispair would hinder the glory that God is about to get by revealing His plans if only I would run to Him first instead of when I feel like the cards are stacked against me and my client  all I know to do is cry out to Him with all the breath that I have left in my lungs. 

Even if the timing isn't my own. Even if the answer doesn't come. The truth remains: all I need is Him. Yes, there is sorrow sometimes, but the joy that I have is not based on the temporary feeling of happiness that I have because it handled the situation like I wanted, nor is it based on the heartache that I sometimes see; my joy comes from knowing that I don't have to understand everything, but rather in knowing that I am a daughter of the King of kings and He has brought me to this place and equipped me to carry out His plans, and loves me no matter if I succeed or fail miserably.

So Father, thank you for this joy you have given me. Direct my feet, God. Close whatever needs to be closed, and continue opening what needs to be opened. Place me where you can use me, and continue to bless me with the joy that I get from simply walking with you, not on the temporary temperature of the day. Your daughter, Sarah

Typical nineties girl

I would like to wish a formal apology.

You see, I am a nineties girl. I graduated high school in 1998 from Conway High school (Hail to the blue and white, in all its radiant splendor, yada yada yada, go Wampus Cats, go!) and sometimes when I write on time sensitive subject matter, I forget that there are readers who may not realize exactly what I am in reference to. This is one of those posts, sorta.

The year was 1995ish. You see, while I may not have ever been a high school cheerleader (surprise, surprise, I know...), I was determined to wear the shoes that hit the nineties school yard the same way the flock of seagulls hairstyle hit the eighties. They were called Asics and they were beautiful. At the time, if you didn't own a pair of them, it was basically the same generational sin as if you were a girl who didn't own a Cabbage patch doll in the year 1986. The need was great to own a pair and in true-high-school-girl-drama-language, you were lame if you didn't. Or even worse, if your parents bought you the knockoffs from Walmart or somewhere else, you might as well banish yourself to the ball pit at Showbiz pizza (or Chuck-e-Cheese).

I had honestly forgotten about all of this stuff for a long time until I had kids. It was then that words like "North face" and "Under Armor" started surfacing on Christmas lists and I realized the kind of fear that my parents must have faced when I started uttering words like "Asics" or "Birkenstocks" to them. The days of simple clearance buys during Christmas shopping became utterances that mimicked, "I am not paying $58 for a fleece pullover just because the label reads a specific way." The grinch in me forced a smile on my face as I grumbled to the cashier, "You bet I want my receipt," as if keeping a record of the misery would somehow make me feel better when I was filing for bankruptcy after the new year.

Today, my outlook changed a little bit. (Don't act like you didn't see it coming...You knew this story would take a turn....Stay focused, people. Christmas is on the way for crying out loud.) For the last two weeks, I have had the honor to work with a precious family to which four children under the age of ten belong. Tonight, I was on a mission to find enough clothes to simply provide their mama for one outfit for every day of school per child. Each child had two complete outfits of their own, so I needed three additional outfits per child, or 12 outfits total. I headed to the pantry and pulled out my list with each child's size as well as if they were a boy or a girl and started digging in. With every piece of clothing that I placed in its pile according to the child's need, I remembered those old Asics. I remembered how proud I was of mine that I had to wear them like all of the popular girls. As I examined each shirt, pair of pants, and even nightgowns, I wondered what these kids would feel like when they didn't have to wear the same outfit every other day because that is all they had.

Suddenly I began to feel angry when I would find a shirt or pair of pants on it that had a blemish on it. I remember thinking about how special I felt in those Asics. How dare I find anything but the best for these kids?  

Folks, I know I get on here a lot and talk about God's plan for each one of our lives and how His love is so abundant, and how it changed me. That is all true, and I will never backtrack on that statement. -My life is the result of an ever-powerful, ever-loving God who saw something in me that I sometimes have a hard time coming to grips with. Like me, really? But yes, and you too. There are also days when I question why the answers don't come as clearly for this person as they do for that one; why God deals His hand this way over here and a different way over there. But what I do know is that while I may never know that answer until I come face to face with Him, I cannot stand by and do nothing.

Matthew 5:14 says that we are the light of the world. We are. So ask yourself, how can I shine my light today? Is it by checking on an elderly neighbor? Is it by making calling up a local pantry and seeing what they need at the moment? Is it by simply initiating a conversation with your checker at Kroger and telling them they are doing a good job? The possibilities are endless. The reward is eternal. <3

That thing.

Last week, I was given the opportunity to go see the production of Moses at the Sight and Sound theater in Branson. Remembering this story fondly as I recall Easter eves hearing Charleton Heston declare, "Let my people go!" in Cecil B. DeMile's rendition of The Ten Commandments, the story came to life as I watched camels, goats, and horses strut up and down the aisles of the theater in perfect cohesion. There were parts that made the audience gasp and applaud, as well as grip the arms to their seat as the waves parted and the Hebrew people ran through the dry sea. The show was phenomenal.

And then the curtains fall. And the actors take a bow and head backstage. And the lights go down. 

But the true Word of God lives on. 

As I reflected on scripture, specifically Exodus, this verse jumped off the page: "You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them for I am a jealous God." (v. 4) My  mind immediately went to the scene from De'Mile's version where Moses came down from the mountain with the tablets and the people were having a party complete with gold cows that they were worshiping. When you think about that verse and compare it to a movie that  you grew up watching, making that connection in your own life gets to be a little confusing as it is easy to say that I certainly don't worship anything or anyone other than God. 

Or do I?

Did you know that you can worship something and not be aware of it? I am just going to be totally transparent here when I tell  you that my life is certainly not rainbows and unicorns all the time. I realize that many of you know how I deal with broken people on a daily basis, but that is my calling (as I believe we are ALL called to do if we really admit it to ourselves) and God has equipped me for that. He has softened my heart and given me eyes to love on people and walk side by  side with when it would be easier just to look the other way.  But then there are other things.

Many of you know that my husband has been looking for a job since July. Just for curiosity's sake, we tried to add up the amount of interviews he has been on as well as the number of applications/resumes he has submitted. The number is almost laughable. His full time job has become to look for a job. In addition to that, he continues to lead our kindergarten/first grade Sunday school class on Sunday mornings, our Wednesday night children's class, our small group, his pantry day at the Conway Ministry center, his Renewal Ranch gig... Yeah, lots. 

And do you know that there is not a day that goes by that we don't have what we need? Not one day. God has provided for us in ways we cannot understand. And to say that I  worship money is so silly... How can you worship something you don't have? Here's how: it starts small, and before you know it,  you are thinking about it more and more and instead of of focusing on the One that provides the need; you become honed in on the need itself. 

Maybe it's not money. What has stolen your focus from God? Maybe it is another person. Maybe it is your calendar. Maybe it is entertainment. Friends, ask God to reveal it to  you because most of the time, we don't realize that it is happening. But what we do know that there is an evil presence in this world that wants to separate us from God and his blessings. I believe that daily distractions are his first line of defense. No one says that they have ever gone out and created false idols and worshiped them but everyone, including me if being truthful, have allowed something to become the focus of our life rather than the blessings that God has for us. 

If this has  convicted anyone like I was convicted when I realized what was happening, a simple prayer to an Almighty God combined with the want to refocus your attention on Him works wonders. There is not one simple formula to declare, rather just thank God for allowing you to see what He is trying to tell you, confess to Him that you want Him to become the focus instead of whatever it is that is standing in the way of that, and don't turn back. 

There is freedom in the name of Jesus and it is for us all. Be blessed.

Today was God's gift to me.

If you have never been in a desperate situation, this probably won't make much sense to  you. 

Desperation is all around me. From the young man who is found sleeping outside the door because he knows that he can get some food as soon as a staff member shows up; to the lady who is fighting back tears as she explains to me that she, "is tired of trying to convince her kids that things will be ok," wondering herself if that is true. When you have been blessed to be a part of a team whose underlying though each day is to show love to a desperate world in need of a Savior, a burden is placed upon your shoulders. Bringing those burdens to the foot of the cross where they can be left and plucked up by the One who wants to create a beautiful mosaic out of the messy pieces of your life is such a humbling thought.

I am still pretty naive, but my prayers are stronger than ever for my brothers and sisters on the front lines, holding my hands as we tread through the waters of uncertainty where oftentimes, the rubber meets the Damascus road. Like Paul, when people start to witness just how much God has His eyes on them and is preparing for them to see, they are changed.

Today was monumental for a certain lady who told me two days ago that she, "dreamed of a place where her kids would smile a lot," and not have to ask on a daily basis if everything was going to be ok. These kids were growing up  understanding what it meant to live in fear of something that they couldn't comprehend yet God had a plan for this family.

Today, this family found out that they would be getting a new home. Out of the ashes, this family discovered that they are capable of  being loved and that it didn't matter what the past looked like, because the future held a promise that they could take hold of.

An angel went to her and said, 'Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you!' (Luke 1:28)

Some have said to me," I could never do what you do," but that isn't true. I could never do what I do alone, but scripture says in I John 4:4, "...because greater is He in you than he that is in the world." My challenge is to ask God to allow you to see a need and respond according to His will. If you will start to pray like this, God will reveal things to you that you simply can't unsee but then He will send His spirit to respond with the kind of love that Jesus intended for us all--desperate in life;  desperate for Him.

Some days, it hurts.

There is not one day that is the same. In order to do what I do, I have to have some face time with God every day or else I go into my  unprepared. I grew up hearing about this so-called armor of God, but now can honestly say that if I don't gear up each day, I will fall short doing what I do. Maybe not in the way that you think I mean, because I can petition for people as long as the day is long, and I can listen to their stories of heartbreak until the sun goes down, but to truly love them I must see them as God does.

There are days where I celebrate. A displaced worker started a new job and now he can support his family;   a formerly homeless veteran just took possession of the keys to his new apartment; a  mom was finally reunified with her kids after a hard battle with alcohol addiction.

These days, I celebrate.

But then there are days like today, where I literally cry with these brothers and sisters. When I hear about the things that happened to them while they were in childhood and then remember that monsters do exist. Or the desperation in their voices when they call to tell me that the job didn't work out and the memory of the looks on their kids' faces sweep across my mind as I remember what it was like the first time they learned that they didn't have a home. Or the client that tells me that she thought about killing herself last night because she felt like the fight was too hard to keep trying.

But...God.

My heart cries from a place that says,"Yes, I hear you. Yes, I will try for you. Yes, I will carry this burden because I know what it is like for someone to carry my burden and when you realize that my love for you is great because His love is greater, then you will understand."


And the Lord said, “I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the Lord, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. Exodus 33:19

A day in the life

I can't say I wasn't warned. I knew it would be tough, but answering the call to actively show my neighbor how much I love them is my  mission, messy or not. Today it was messy.

I was headed to the office to pick up an appointment card when I saw one of the homeless regulars that visits us sometimes. Hanging out so that she could let her phone charge, I noticed she was missing her shoes as I approached. She immediately started telling me that her feet were hurting and I sat down on the ground in front of her and noticed that her feet were swollen. Not only were they swollen, they looked like she had been walking around without her shoes on and were really dirty and had a few open sores. Her feet looked rough and I other than letting me clean them off a little bit and pass on some Ibuprofen, she wasn't interested in much else that I had to offer. No shoes, no bandages.  Just some TLC, medicine, and a ride to a friends house because walking at the time would have been murderous on her ravaged feet. She smiled at me after she unloaded all her bags from the car and it was then that I realized that providing a solution to a problem (in her case, the condition of her feet) sometimes takes a back seat to simply being there.

It wasn't long after that I got a call about one of my clients who received a call that she was being evicted from her apartment and within the next couple of hours, she and her two elementary age sons would have nowhere to go after a long day at work and school. As I raced across town to explain to the apartment manager that she had a new job and just needed one week before she received her first full paycheck and plead with them to let her stay, her fear became my own. Knowing that she was doing everything right, that nothing that had happened to her was her fault, my heart broke as I thought about how it would have to feel to try and figure out how I was going to explain to my kids that they had no food, clothes, or even somewhere to sleep for a few days. Knowing that this would be their reality very shortly. 

Unfortunately, management could never be reached. I did plead with the maintenance man to let them in for just a minute so that they could grab some food and clothes and he agreed, but couldn't give them long to do it. We went to the apartment and the kids were waiting when we got down there. The youngest started crying as soon as we pulled up and needing to go to the bathroom and was asking for an after-school snack. Knowing that they basically had to grab whatever they could carry with them as fast as they could, the process was overwhelming. Mama headed to the kitchen and started grabbing food and water while a sister who had showed up grabbed laundry as quick as she could. The kids were given bags to fill toys with and it was a whirlwind of emotion and necessity combined. Finally, my client got a call that she could stay with a friend so as we went different directions, I headed to the grocery store and wept for her for the next thirty minutes from the parking lot.  

How would I have explained to my children those circumstances? How overwhelming was it for her to even fathom the thought of not having food to feed her children? The tears fell hard as that reality became real in such a tangible way through her story. There was nothing about this that she deserved yet here she was, trudging through. I think the thing that surprised me the most was that through all this, the last thing she said to me was, "Thanks for everything you tried to do today. Do you think I could come to church with you on Sunday?" 

Somehow, through everything that happened today, she experienced love. It was messy, angry, desperate, so desperate, but love shone through all of that and hope remained after all. 

"In a world that is so confused about what love is, I'm more convinced than ever, that when they see it, and when we get it right and we live it out, love never fails." (Tim Britton, 9/10/17)